Black Lacquer

I.

Bright sunny day humming to the neighbor’s hose,

Her beautiful face surrounded by light full of love for the park and me,

We feel excitement hearing the ice cream truck.

Grey rainy day beating to the TV commercials,

Her pristine face danced with the aroma of food prepared from scratch,

We feel joy sharing beef congee.

White snowy night hibernating with the beat of our hearts,

Her soft face resting on the pillow cushioning my fear of a big scary world,

I feel safe attaching my soul to her soft body.

Bright sunny day humming to the neighbor’s hose,

Her beautiful face transformed by darkness full of ferocity for life and me,

I feel the quick force of her beautiful hand against me.

Grey rainy day beating to the TV commercials,

Her pristine face tainted with the frustration of life cooked with wrong ingredients,

I feel terror as I swallow words from pristine lips that tremble with hate.

White snowy night hibernating with the beat of my heart,

Her soft face exploding like gunpowder catapulting me into the big scary world,

I ask why attaching my body to the hard table leg.

II.

Two chairs pushed in across from each other in between two leg posts,

I have my four walls.

The under surface of the tabletop and the floorboards,

I have my sky and my earth.

Two miniature arms and two stubby legs in a ball,

I have my new womb.

Paint my new walls using wet fingers, don’t miss a spot,

Tears evaporate off the black lacquer, an unending canvas,

What luck,

Unending paint.

Feel the edges of the leg post, so sharp and smooth, soothing edges,

A hard, durable, shiny material, always reliable always predictable,

What safety,

Black lacquer.

III.

Suit up, on board, cab it; Game face, knock, handshake,

Own it.

Safe.

Blame Greenspan, praise Bernanke; Talk fast, walk fast, think fast,

Move it.

Safe.

Suited up, on board, cabin lights off, forty thousand feet in the air,

Journey of safe routine ad nauseam, nausea idiopathic,

Nausea mysterious,

Shaking voice, shaking hands, shake and sink,

Blood draining from my head light as air, air I am catapulting through

With the speed of gunpowder.
Terror and confusion in blasphemous consummation,

So fast, faster and fastest, fasting heart

Starves more blood that leaves me, disappears on me,

Head is gone, legs cannot feel, see only black,

Black lacquer.