You hang your sweater off a pinkened shoulder

You hang your detachment off a crooked sweetness

I wonder how you chaffed your shoulder

I wonder how you bent your sweetness

You bring empty beer glasses back to the bar

You bring full paint bottles up to the bronx

I wonder at your red hot conscientiousness

I wonder at your clean white approach

So I want

to know if you were born at dawn

to see you swirl red with white

You gauge my color, canvas fill with novel base

You sip your beer, glass refill with empty space

I wonder at the space between two strokes

I wonder at the space within your curls

So I naturally want

to narrow space with paint

to fill each curl with fingers

So naturally

I wonder

I write her
I love her
I owe her
    nothing

No lines
No games
No props
    everything

slow

I am so slow, too slow to see myself seeing the strange way by which you paint your eye brows, dance your vocal chords as I miss your friends' outstretched hands prolonging stranger land as I think how stranger you delay to extend your arm only upon noticing me notice you. 

And I am still too slow to hold your hand longer, few milliseconds longer, few differences different, to how conscientious I am imagining, hoping you watching me five seconds before I am lost in your clothes flanking a story that makes me dumb like the undulations of muscles in your bare arms I am running imaginary hands, laying imaginary lips the first four seconds I laid cautionary eyes chasing them from chasing you.

The Fight to Lose

I.
we fight a finite fight
we fight to feel different to feel better to feel safe
we fight to win
and we lose the infinite 

II.
To not care for the symbols of society is to depart
and therein conundrum of our species
We fear to depart safety in numbers
Numbers who taught us what is humanity

but if I 
look intently for the Truth without
listen intently to the Truth within

Fear and Bravery become yesteryear
as the Earth under my feet becomes Waves
and in the stead of my legs appear fins
with an Ocean ahead to flow and move and love

to depart and create 
what is humanity

amorphous soup
experience 1 2 3
stir brew heat
  
amorphous road
lights 1 2 3
never comes on

amorphous person
see 1 2 3 
yes to all

I shovel snow. I salt the driveway. I pick her up. I drop her off. I wash the car. I gauge the pressure. I run drivers off the road. I mow weeds off the lawn. I fix the toilet. I brew the coffee. I win the bread. I take out the trash. I take off her clothes. I make her laugh. I make her come. She is my day. I am her knight.

The Last Time

You wanted to finish the movie
So we go back to your place 
I prop your laptop on my belly
I prop my head on your pillow 
I prop my body next to your body

Before I hit play

You leaned in to give me a kiss
So I go back to your lips
I cover your body with mine
I dive under your arms your breath
I sink myself into you oh so soft

Before I move on

You looked like a princess under me
So I slow down to savor
I nibble at your bottom lip taste the coffee in your mouth
I tug and push at your princess hair hold your head so soft
I press my hand on your clavicle cover your heart soft so soft

Before I had to move on

You looked like a princess before me
So I slow my words
I look away from your grey green eyes
I want to be gentle without being soft
I give you no good reason and no good rhyme